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4. For high blood pressure sufferers: simply cut yourself and bleed
for a few minutes, thus reducing the pressure in your veins. Remember to
use a timer.
5. A mouse trap, placed on top of your alarm clock, will prevent
you from rolling over and going back to sleep after you hit the snooze
button.
6. If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives, then you
will be afraid to cough.
7. Have a bad toothache? Smash your thumb with a hammer and you
will forget all about the toothache.
8. Sometimes, we just need to remember what the rules of life
really are: You only need two tools - WD-40 and Duct Tape. If it doesn't
move and should, use the WD-40. If it shouldn't move and does, use the
duct tape.
9. Remember: Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.
10. SOME PEOPLE ARE LIKE SLINKIES.......... THEY ARE NOT REALLY
GOOD FOR ANYTHING, BUT..... THEY STILL BRING A SMILE TO YOUR FACE WHEN YOU
PUSH THEM DOWN A FLIGHT OF STAIRS
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